Hi Coach,
I want to talk with you about something most coaches overlook, sometimes for years.
We spend so much time perfecting our coaching skills, learning frameworks, and chasing certifications. Those things matter. They build confidence, expand your toolkit, and help you deliver results.
But here’s the hard truth: coaching skills alone don’t build a business.
I’ve seen brilliant coaches, deep listeners, masterful question askers, transformation wizards, stay stuck with only a handful of clients. Not because they’re not good at coaching, but because they’re missing the skill that unlocks it all: connection.
A story from my own practice
Years ago, I had a discovery call with someone who I thought was the perfect client. The conversation went well, we connected, and I felt certain they would say yes. Instead, they told me, “I’ll think about it.”
And then… silence.
It stung. But here’s the thing, I didn’t chase, convince, or push. I stayed connected. I checked in without an agenda. I remembered their milestones, sent encouragement, and listened. Months later, they reached back out. They told me the reason they hired me wasn’t the first call, it was how I made them feel after the call. Seen. Safe. Supported.
That experience changed the way I approached enrollment forever. It wasn’t about closing a deal. It was about creating connection that lasted beyond the conversation.
Coaching skills vs. connection skills.
Your coaching skills matter once someone is in your practice.
But getting them into your practice, that requires a different skill set:
- Starting conversations without an agenda
- Asking instead of assuming
- Standing in your value instead of proving it
- Inviting instead of convincing
That’s what creates trust. And trust is what people say yes to.
A practice for you this week
I want you to try this:
Write down 3 people you’d genuinely love to serve.
Reach out, not to sell, but to connect. Ask how they’re doing. Listen. Be curious.
At some point, ask: “What would be most helpful for you right now?”
If it feels natural, invite: “Would you like to explore this more deeply in a coaching session?”
No pressure. Just connection.
Because here’s the truth: you don’t have a marketing problem, you have a connection opportunity.
Where to go deeper
This is the exact kind of work I built my ACTivate Coaches Resource Library around. It’s packed with scripts, frameworks, and tools to help you master these conversations and stop waiting for things to be “perfect” before you start creating clients.
If you’ve been frustrated by ghosted calls, “almost” clients, or the waiting game, you’ll find what you need inside ACTivate to move forward with clarity and confidence.
And remember: connection is the heartbeat of this work. Build that, and the clients will follow.
With you,
Gretchen
