I wrote Break Free From Your Dirty Little Secrets: A New You in 10 Secret- Breaking Stages, because it’s part of the legacy I’m leaving behind. My goal is to help women learn who they are and unbecome everything they aren’t.
Here’s the deal: As a master coach, I’ve worked with hundreds of women. I’ve created and gathered data from around the world with different women- studying how they speak to themselves, the different narratives they live by, and their secret thoughts. The one thing we all have in common is some story of lack; some place where we feel that we’re not measuring up, not good enough, not doing it right in some way.
That we’re “too much” or “too little.”
Another thing these all women had in common, myself included, is this part of us that takes on the expectations of others:
- Well-meaning loved ones
- Employers
- Society and public pressure
- Whoever it is we are close to in life
But, here’s the thing:
If we follow these expectations that have been put upon us by others for a long time, since we were young girls, these expectations become our expectations of ourselves.
And sometimes, we live by these expectations when we don’t even mean to.
So, often, people are looking for a tool to be different.
Tools are great. I like tools! To really manifest change in your life though, you must first go inward and realize what stories you are telling yourself.
Ask yourself, “Who are you, and who would you be if you could really be you?” Without the societal norms.
I mean the expectations, the social norms, labels, rules, coping mechanisms, and the things we have picked up along the way like a dump truck.
- Who would you be if you didn’t have those expectations from others?
- If you weren’t worried about people pleasing?
- If you weren’t worried about what the world would think?
- If you weren’t worried about your family?
It’s important to think about that, because even if we can’t live that exact life due to our responsibilities, there is a piece of us being called in a different direction.
First, we must realize what we’re carrying. An acute awareness will open our eyes to all the baggage we carry; I love journaling for this purpose.
Then, once we realize our inner truth, we work to shed what no longer serves our present and future selves.
Because, guess what? In the moments you shed external expectations and discover who you are, you find your purpose.
So, I want you to think about this: Unbecoming anything that isn’t the real you.
To learn more about how to unbecome, subscribe to my YouTube Channel here.
