Shattering the Shadows

Your Guide to Unmasking and Conquering Your Secret-Keeping Habits

photo of woman, standing outside on a foggy day, with her back to the camera, arms outstretched

It’s a buzzword-filled world out there, heavily coated with pleas for “authenticity” and “realness.”

But let’s take a moment for a heart-to-heart conversation. We all have things tucked away that we’d rather not broadcast to the world, right? These dirty little secrets are more than just skeletons in our closets, they’re also the nagging whispers echoing within us, questioning our worthiness and adequacy.

Unveiling the Hidden Secrets

“I’m transparent as glass!” you might argue. That’s what I once believed, too. Yet, our secrets often run deeper than that last slice of pizza we sneakily savored in the darkness. They weave themselves into the narratives we unconsciously tell ourselves – “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not lovable,” or “My jokes never really land.”

These seemingly insignificant secrets transform into cunning puppet masters, pulling our strings without our full awareness. But fear not, it’s time to reclaim control and banish these secretive storytellers.

From Stealth to Spotlight: Unmasking Your Secrets

To embark on your journey of self-discovery, engage in this secret-breaking exercise:

  1. Define your secret action: What have you done that you don’t want anyone else to know about? It’s okay, we all have something.
  2. Reflect on the why of your actions: What drove you to do it? Was it self-protection, caring for someone else, seeking safety, value, belonging, love, inclusion, or care? Were you afraid of the consequences?
  3. Identify the secret narrative you hold about yourself because of this secret. This is important. Take time to write down what you say to yourself about yourself because this is the undercurrent of your life.
  4. Reveal what is a resonant secret you identify with. Is it dependency, feeling trapped, negative self-perception, addiction, fear of failure, or body image struggles?
  5. Embrace the truth: Explore how these secret actions and narratives have influenced your perception of what you can and can’t do and the actions that you will or won’t take. Acknowledge it without judgment or shame.
  6. Transcend the secret. Reflect on its impact on your daily life. Are you allowing it to define and limit your potential? Recognize your power to live authentically.

Remember: You were courageous enough to protect yourself for all of these years, you can do this too.

As we wind up, remember that you are more than any secret you’ve held onto. You are valuable, and you have the strength to live a life free of secrets’ shadows. So, it’s time to dust off those covert narratives and strut your stuff confidently, because YOU deserve to live authentically in the sunlight. After all, you are worth far more than a life spent in hiding.

If you’re ready to dive in deeper, then check out my book, Break Free from Your Dirty Little Secrets: A New You in 10 Secrets Breaking Stages.

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