Are You Reacting or (C)reating?
OMG! I woke up this morning and realized that not only are the holidays here (literally) but we are close to the end of another year (yup, that happened, it’s already November), counting down the completion of a decade. An entire 10 years!
In 56 days it’s going to be 2020 (but who’s counting?). When people look back at their past, they often refer to how they can see things with 20/20 vision. If they only knew then what they know now, things would be different. They have clarity. And that’s a really easy thing to say but boy, when you are living it, you can’t see things clearly. You don’t know what’s around the corner. You aren’t sure how the pain is going to be meaningful in a year’s time. You aren’t savoring the moments that you’re living the same way you’re savoring the memories. And you’re ruminating, thinking about what could have been and sitting in fear about what might happen.
Our culture has taken a position that it is easier to react rather than create. We are reacting to life instead of creating life. Think about that for a minute. What have you been reacting to? The boss, the job, the bills, the kids, the partner? What have you put on hold because you are reacting instead of creating? The dream that feels too big or too silly? The goal that your inner voice tells you, people like you can’t accomplish? The deep work that will set you free? I get it. I understand why we shelf things. I know that it can be easier to stay the same rather than changing. But I also know that change is powerful. Creating the life that you would be living if you weren’t afraid of what other people would think is powerful.
Take a look at this. Reacting and (C)reating have the same letters, just in a different order. One small shift and creation can replace reaction.
What do you want to create?
This concept hit me big this year and that’s why I want to share it with you. Think about who you were 10 years ago. What did you look like (to have that skin again!)? Where did you live? Where were you working? Who were you in a relationship with? Did you have children? A pet? A house? The car that you’re driving? Did you have a dream that you still are longing for? What’s different? More importantly, what do you want to be different?
Ten years ago, I was 35, working as a publicist, with a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old. Ten years ago, I was feeling the real financial struggles from the great recession. Ten years ago, my marriage was just okay. Ten years ago, I had a book I wanted to write and a life I wanted more from. Ten years ago, I wasn’t a coach. Ten years ago, I didn’t think of myself as a creative person. Ten years ago, I hadn’t gone to therapy and let go of my old ideas. Ten years ago, I was struggling with how to parent.
And here’s what happened:
I fell into debt, which put me in fear, and kept me reacting in work.
I fell into routine parenting where my frustration could get the best of me.
I fell into keeping bad friendships because it was better and easier than having no friendships.
I believed my limiting beliefs that I wasn’t creative, that everyone had to work this hard, that marriage was hard, and that life was hard.
I kept going and going and going, because I couldn’t slow down. If I slowed down, the world would fall on top of me and I was doing my best (which wasn’t that great) to stay ahead of it all. I just kept reacting to the next thing that came along. I would deal with it, and then deal with the next set of circumstances that showed up. What I didn’t do was create. I didn’t take the time to slow down, plan, or go inward.
I was spending all of my time in combat with life. Existing. And then I had a moment where I knew I wanted more. Something shifted. There was an opening. I could have ignored it. It would have been easy to do. Thank God I didn’t. I wanted to be fulfilled, secure, and even cheerful. I wanted to be a good mom, have a happy marriage and get my finances in order. I wanted to serve people in a big way. And I wanted my dream of writing. To do those things was a tall order but I went for it.
If I didn’t decide to make new choices and to create the life that I wanted, instead of just reacting to what I had then I would be on the hamster wheel day in and day out, spinning and spinning and not going anywhere – forever.
I get how it happens. We are busy. Life can be hard. Our internal stories hold us back and tell us why we can’t. Our inner critic is mean to us. We are resentful from being hurt. We don’t trust others easily (including ourselves) and we have no time to create because it is counter-intuitive and feels hard. I know! I really know.
But the other thing that I know is that on the other side of the reacting is a great big life. Your life. That no one is going to go out and get for you. It will present itself but if you are too busy reacting to your daily circumstances instead of creating then you miss it. And haven’t we all missed enough?
A decade is coming to a close. Do you have that picture in your mind of who you were 10 years ago? What do you want for the next ten years? Would you like to have 20/20 vision in 2020? If so, I have a special invitation for you. It isn’t for everyone. I have created two unique programs to help people create the life they want.
20/20 Vision: This is a transformative, one-on-one experience where we will take a look at your Hercules sized goal and create the life that you are longing for. This program will offer weekly support, visioning, goal setting, creation, accountability, and will help you to overcome your blocks so that you can stop reacting and start creating.
20/20 VIP Day: This program is for the A-type personality who knows what they want but needs support with creation, visioning and strategy. This is a fast-paced day where we clarify your goals and create a 90-day strategy to get you there.
If either of these programs is of interest to you, if you are interested in not letting another year go by where you are reacting instead of creating, schedule a complimentary session or contact me today.
Time goes by fast. Take hold of your life. The best is yet to come, but only if you are willing to create it.