Happy International Women’s Month. Women are a beautiful, complicated, and powerful group.
“Of all the female sins, hunger is the least forgivable; hunger for anything, for food, sex, power, education, even love. If we have desires, we are expected to conceal them, to control them, to keep ourselves in check. We are supposed to be objects of desire, not desiring beings.”
— Laurie Penny
Read that again.
Hunger is the least forgivable.
As women, we have been taught to be careful with our appetite. Careful with our ambition. Careful with our voice. Careful with how much space we take up, how much we want, how much we need.
We have faced systems that underestimated us. Expectations that confined us. Labels that tried to define us before we defined ourselves.
And still we rise.
We rise in the workplace. We rise in our homes. We rise in rooms that weren’t designed with us in mind.
Last year was my year of autonomy. My year of choice. I took a hard look at every relationship in my life and asked a question that felt both radical and simple: Do I want this? Or do I feel obligated to this?
My husband and I were in a rough patch. After 25 years of marriage, I had to decide if I still wanted to be in this relationship. The answer was yes. But not like this.
I was no longer the 25-year-old bride willing to follow him anywhere. I have my own wagon now. I know where I want to go. Staying married was a choice. Staying the same was not.
We had hard conversations. The kind that cracks open old patterns. The kind that requires both people to grow. It was uncomfortable. It was honest. And it led to freedom.
Freedom of choice. Freedom of truth. Freedom of redesign.
That is what International Women’s Month is about.
It’s about honoring the social, economic, cultural, and political achievements of women. It’s about recognizing progress while acknowledging the work still ahead. It’s about celebrating women who have claimed their voice and creating space for those who are just beginning to.
But more than anything, it’s about agency. What do you want freedom from? What do you want freedom to?
I want freedom from my old ways of thinking about myself and the world. Freedom from over-absorbing the responsibilities of others, at home and at work. Freedom from the reflex that says, “If no one else will do it, then I should.”
Just because I am capable does not mean I am called. And when I choose differently, it gives me freedom to create. It gives me time for me.
Time to build my SheEO Women’s Collective, a space where women learn to live and lead with clarity, boundaries, and power. A space where hunger is not shamed but sharpened. Where leadership is not an apology but an embodiment.
It gives me freedom to say how I want to be treated. To define what is negotiable and what is not.
Freedom to connect where connection is life-giving and to say no where it is not. Freedom to stop over-functioning and inadvertently stealing someone else’s growth by doing it for them.
That kind of space-making is a decision.
And one decision can change the trajectory of a life.
I decided to stay married. But not to stay married the way I had been. I didn’t want a divorce. I wanted evolution. Living through the discomfort strengthened us. It freed me from old roles and opened a new way of living and loving.
This is leadership.
Freedom in leadership looks like this:
- It’s not managing everyone’s emotions so they’re comfortable with you.
- It’s not shrinking your voice to keep the peace.
- It’s not carrying what belongs to your team so you can be the hero.
Freedom in leadership is clarity. It’s boundaries. It’s knowing your values and acting from them even when it costs you ease.
When women lead from freedom, teams get stronger, cultures get healthier, performance rises because people are empowered, not micromanaged.
When we stop over-functioning, others step up. When we stop apologizing for our hunger, we build. When we choose consciously instead of operating from obligation, we transform everything.
This month, don’t just celebrate women. Become the woman who chooses. Where have you been operating from obligation?Where are you ready to claim desire? Where is your hunger asking to be honored instead of hidden?
Freedom is not loud. It is decisive.
And one decisive woman changes rooms, relationships, organizations and generations.
Let this be the month you choose.
Much love to you,
Gretchen
